The Season of Detachment
The fall is here. The vitality of summer is leaving us, as we descend deeper into the dark of winter. A season of transitions, of liminality which can be witnessed in the amber tree tops and the chill of rain on our windswept faces. It is also a season of letting go: just as we mourn the passing of summer, we mourn all the unfulfilled desires. More than ever, we are faced with time and our own temporality. But instead of embracing the nature of the season by acknowledging the losses, we cling to the empty husks of our missed opportunities, failed relationships, and all other unfulfilled dreams.
In the same manner, a client of mine is still haunted by the specter of her failed relationship: a story of forced love and emotional blackmail that ended years ago. Even though they both went on with their lives, she is still troubled by questions about what went wrong and whether it was her fault. She wanted to know how to best detach from this relationship and leave it where it belongs - in the past. I decided to pull a ‘Do/Don’t’ spread.
Soprafino Tarot by Il Meneghello.
It is clear from the first three cards that the client was truly struggling in this relationship (Strength). She desperately tried to make things work while being completely dominated by her controlling ex-partner (Emperor). In this unhealthy dynamic, an addictive pattern was formed. When an Emperor is joined by the Devil we can conclude that the agency of the dominating power in the relationship is such that it seeks to dominate the other through manipulative lasting bonds. This confirms the client’s sentiment, while also indicating the lasting effects of the unhealthy patterns that this relationship left on her (Devil in ending the line). The failure of this relationship was never up to her, but the bondage of the “Devil” kind tends to persuade us that we are the problem. Today we would call this a ‘gaslighting’ strategy.
The best way for my client to detach from the ghost of this relationship observe the situation from the position of her sovereignty. The Emperess in the ‘Do’ position is well aware of her power domain, and the vantage point of her throne allows her to observe the dynamic below for what it truly is, as well as her own place within it. When her place in the story becomes clear to her, she does not need to reach for any other tools of analysis (Magician in the ‘Don’t’ position). In summary: acknowledge your qualities and your place in the story, and do not try to overanalyze by pulling every tool and trick out of the bag, as there is no real need for it.
As October is my birth month and my most favorite month of the year, I am offering all my readings for a 50% discount! Use the code AMBEROCTOBER at checkout.
